Sunday, October 5, 2014

When I was free

          4 YEARS
          In some ways it feels just like yesterday, but other times I can hardly remember what life was like. Back when I was free. Free of a time schedule, free from carb counting, free from needles, free from worry. I looked so pure on the exterior, no callused fingers or bruises from shots. No infusion set or insulin pump to conceal. No thinking about how long I was going without eating. Life was so simple. 
        But these senior portraits, taken on October 3rd, 2010, tell another story too. In these pictures you see a frail broken body, unable to sustain any weight. The glassy look in my eyes just screams high BG. I remember being so thirsty that day, I remember it distinctly. When we were finally finished with the 4 hour photo shoot, I was almost crying with hunger and thirst. It was the beginning of the downward spiral. 3 months before diagnosis. 
       I was fading fast, looking back I see it. Insulin truly saved my life. It brought Morgan back. The twinkle in the eye returned. I came back better than ever. Stronger and more confident. I may not be free, but I am alive, living each day to the fullest. 

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