When I was free

   

          4 YEARS

          In some ways it feels just like yesterday, but other times I can hardly remember what life was like. Back when I was free. Free of a time schedule, free from carb counting, free from needles, free from worry. I looked so pure on the exterior, no callused fingers or bruises from shots. No infusion set or insulin pump to conceal. No thinking about how long I was going without eating. Life was so simple. 

        But these senior portraits, taken on October 3rd, 2010, tell another story too. In these pictures you see a frail broken body, unable to sustain any weight. The glassy look in my eyes just screams high BG. I remember being so thirsty that day, I remember it distinctly. When we were finally finished with the 4 hour photo shoot, I was almost crying with hunger and thirst. It was the beginning of the downward spiral. 3 months before diagnosis. 

       I was fading fast, looking back I see it. Insulin truly saved my life. It brought Morgan back. The twinkle in the eye returned. I came back better than ever. Stronger and more confident. I may not be free, but I am alive, living each day to the fullest. 

Decorating Diabetes: A Pump Peelz Review

          I was so excited when I came into contact with Emily and Scott, founders of Pump Peelz. Pump Peelz are stickers made for insulin pumps, meters, and CGMs. They were created to decorate diabetes and make it fun and exciting for children and adults with Type 1 Diabetes. I was so excited to be given the opportunity to review one of their new products, Glow in the Dark peelz created just in time for halloween.

The Package 

       When the package arrived, I happily opened it with pride knowing that a fellow T1D had created this to bring joy to others living with the disease. I like how intricate the spider web design is on the peel, it almost seems real. I know many kids who would die to have a cool sticker like this. When I went to place the peel on my Dexcom receiver, I was impressed with how thick and durable it was. It was easy to unpeel and re-stick the peel several times in order to place it in the desired position. I can tell these peelz can be easily reusable as long as you protect them, which I love because I will be able to switch out different peelz depending on the season.

Dex modeling the new peel! 

      My favorite aspect of this particular peel is the Glow in the Dark feature. I know this was created to make it fun for Children and get them in the halloween spirit, but it is also very practical for young adults and adults. I sleep with my Dexcom in bed with me in order to hear the vibration at night. I am notorious for loosing it somewhere in my bed, but the past few nights I have been able to easily spot it because it is now Glow in the Dark. 

     I highly recommend Pump Peelz for anyone and everyone with T1D. The variety is so vast that I know you will find something that appeals to you and puts a smile on your face. I will definitely be purchasing more of these for my collection. Pump Peelz are currently available for the Dexcom G4 receiver, the Ominipod (generation 2),   the Omnipod PDM,  the Medtronic Minimed pump, and the OneTouch VerioIQ meter. You can find your favorite peelz here. Happy Pumping and CGMing!

Gluten Free is not a choice

         I have been following a gluten free diet for almost a year now after suggestion from my endocrinologist. I passed the Celiac blood test, but I was having symptoms which is quite common in people with T1D. Since making the switch, a fog has lifted in my body and my BG numbers have become more stable and consistent. I also finally like bread. It's been a change for the better and I would not go back. Many people think that gluten free diets are a fad, and people do it to loose weight or be hip. But for some people it is their life. I have several friends who suffer from Celiac disease and following a gluten free diet is not a choice for them. Their small intestines cannot physically handle the gluten.  They must be strict and follow the diet exactly or they can become very sick.
       The problem is that gluten free food is ridiculously expensive and the selection is quite small, although that is slowly changing. Necessities like a loaf of bread are $6.25, sometimes more depending on the store. A box of crackers is about $5.00 and a pack of 4 muffins is $7.00. That is just not fair. They need to eat too. And sometimes it is hard to afford these food staples that they need for everyday life. They did not choose the gluten free life, the gluten free life choose them and I think insurance should help. The gluten free diet is like a medication for  so  it is only fair that they be provided with a certain amount of money per month to purchase those necessities such as bread and pasta. It does not need to be a large amount of money, $100-$150 per month would help. Anything would help. It would make the disease feel like less of a burden. Going to the grocery store would be less traumatic, as seeing the price rise at checkout is quite frightening. If anyone reading this is involved in the medical profession, please speak up and help those who follow a gluten free diet because of legitimate medical reasons. We need your help to make a change!
   

JDRF Walk 2014: Type One becomes Type None

I'm the walk to change my future type. 

      Twas the night before the one walk, and I was not sleeping. I was fighting. I was struggling, startled by a BG of 40 at 3:00am. I awoke shaky as ever and stumbled into the kitchen for some juice. This situation repeated itself again at 6:00am. When it was time to get up for the walk, I was not excited. I was tired, annoyed, and still on the low side. But then I realized that was the very reason I was walking. To stop this endless cycle of discomfort for myself and all those suffering from Type 1 Diabetes. I decided to be the walk to change my future type.
      I got to the walk and my spirit was immediately lifted. Just the atmosphere  is something I cannot even describe. The feeling of togetherness and the understanding that everyone around you gets it. They know what you are going through because they go through it themselves. The emotion is strong. You are sad that you have to be there, but happy to have that sense of community. This year, I invited some close friends in addition to family to walk with me. I did not know how they react, but it was a success. They were wonderful and I loved having them there. I know that I have an amazing support system, but having some of them there physically was so special. Thank you all for walking with me.

<3 

The magical pod 

       After the walk had ended, I had the opportunity to talk with representatives from many of the most popular diabetic supply companies. As always, I enjoyed stocking up on glucose tablets, but also got some wonderful information about the technology available. I had a great talk with a rep. from Insulet regarding the Omnipod tubeless insulin pump. He even put a demo pod on me. I am now convinced Omnipod is in my near future. I thought it would feel bulky, but it was so comfortable. I adore the idea of being able to bolus with a remote because it will come in handy while figure skating. The waterproof feature is also helping to win me over because I love water parks and this will allow me to continue to receive insulin while swimming. I am very excited to begin the project of cutting the cord and getting the Omnipod up and running.
      The walk always leaves me feeling happy and enthusiastic about the future. I am excited to see what technological advancements will be made this year. The JDRF is one step closer to creating a world without Type 1 Diabetes.

A 24-hour walk with D

       

             I recently joined the Walk with Diabetes campaign to give people a chance to virtually walk in the shoes of a person with Diabetes. I decided to document 24 hours of all my thoughts related to D. Unsurprisingly the day I selected was a rough one, but I think it was a good representation of the unpredictability of this disease. Here is a glimpse into my day...

           By this point, I was finished with D for the night. It had managed to dampen my spirit and left me feeling defeated for the day. Then I got this tweet... 

           I instantly felt ok again. I was reminded that having a rough day is normal, as sucky as it may be. Rough days are usually few and far between, but they hit you like a ton of bricks. There is nothing you can do about it but take a deep breath and move on. Tomorrow will always be better, tomorrow is another battle. A battle we can win together. Diabuddies unite for life. 

An Invisible Story

        Since the day I was born, I was always "that girl" who was sickly. At birth I was 6lbs. and 12oz., but I lost weight like it was my duty in life. I wouldn't breast feed and it took forever to find a bottle I would use, my stubborn nature was evident from the start. My parents purchased a baby scale and religiously weighed me every night to make sure I was gaining. Eventually I caught on and that bullet was dodged.
       At the age of 3, I began having bathroom issues. I was taken to the gastroenterologist, who commented I was the youngest patient he had ever seen with these issues. They preformed a colonoscopy, and discovered colon polyps. Luckily they were benign, another sigh of relief for my parents. By the time I was 6 years old, I had endured 5 colonoscopies. But my parents never took pity on me, they just explained it so simply that I thought all kids had colonoscopies. Little did I know that this procedure is most common in late adulthood. As I grew, I sometimes talked about what I had endured and others were just disgusted that I would bring that up, like it was a bad thing and I should hide it.
      Off and on as I grew up, I made numerous trips to the pediatrician for small things like acid reflux, scarlet fever, easy bruising, scoliosis, pneumonia, and frequent ear infections. But I was always fine. As a freshman in high school I suffered from my 3rd case of pneumonia. This time it hit me hard, and my body did not bounce back like it had in the past. I lost weight, had a terrible cough, and fainting spells because I couldn't breath. I was admitted into the hospital for 3 nights where the doctors were convinced I had late onset Cystic Fibrosis. My mom was devastated and could not believe her ears as the doctors discussed treatment plans. By the grace of God, the tests came back negative. I was instead diagnosed with Bronchiectasis, a disease where the lungs are stretched and widened due to scar issue and mucus can block the airways. This can be treated with several different breathing treatments, and I have had much success with them so it is not a major issue for me currently.
       Then Type 1 Diabetes came into my life at the age of 17. Honestly out of all my diagnosis, I took this one the easiest because I had grown up with a childhood friend who is a T1D. I was not scared because I knew I would still be able to lead a normal life. But it is an invisible disease where on the outside you appear totally fine but on the inside your are always fighting an internal battle against sugar, carbs, insulin, exercise, and millions of other variables. But it becomes the new "normal" and life goes on. People have a hard time understanding the disease and judge without really knowing it. That's why we must advocate, not just for diabetes, but all diseases.
        I am not looking for pity in this post. I do not want people to feel sorry for me because I am living a happy, healthy life. I am exposed to wonderful technology and have an amazing support system. I am lucky.
       I am just asking for no judgement. Everyone has their own story, their own private lives where they suffer. I have friends and family who live with a variety of diseases and health issues including: Type 1 Diabetes, Celiacs, Anorexia, Fibromyalgia, Leukemia, Crohns, Multiple Sclerosis, Colon Cancer, Breast Cancer, Depression, Cystic Fibrosis, Autism, Blindness, Deafness, Asthma, and the list can go on and on. All of these diseases suck, but all the sufferers I know are so much more than their disease. They are HUMANS, they are FIGHTERS, and they LIVE LIFE WITH NO REGRETS. So please DO NOT JUDGE. Treat everyone with respect because we all live with something that has changed us. An invisible story that makes us who we are. So do not be afraid to share your story. I am sure it is worth telling. <3

This is ME. Be proud of who you are. 

Reality

The reality is this summer was less than desirable.
The reality is we had a four foot flood in our basement.
The reality is I lost many cherished items.
The reality is diabetes sucks.
The reality is I am not in complete control.
Life does not always play fair and that's ok.
The reality is it'll be fine as my BFF continuously reminds me.
Lost items are not as important as people and memories.
Diabetes will always throw curve ballast me, I just have to correct and move on.
The reality is this summer made me a stronger person.