D- Blog Week 2015- I CAN

        This week I will be participating in the 6th annual Diabetes Blog Week. Each day there is a designated prompt that is meant to advocate about the different issues surrounding diabetes. Today's topic is I can. In the UK, there was a diabetes blog theme of "I can...”  that participants found wonderfully empowering.  So lets kick things off this year by looking at the positive side of our lives with diabetes.  What have you or your loved one accomplished, despite having diabetes, that you weren't sure you could?  Or what have you done that you've been particularly proud of?  Or what good thing has diabetes brought into your life?  (Thank you to the anonymous person who submitted this topic suggestion.)

        With a diagnosis of Type 1 Diabetes, there is only one thing I can't do and that is produce insulin on my own. Besides that the possibilities are endless. I can eat sweets, participate in sports, and pursue all the dreams that I had before my diagnosis. One of my best friends who also has T1D taught me from the very beginning of my journey with D that my life did not have to change, just be adjusted. 3 days after my diagnosis, I was back on the ice competing at a figure skating competition. Yes, it was a rough experience and required many extra BG checks, but it was worth it because it showed me that I can definitely handle this and continue doing what I love most. 

     With that being said, living with Type 1 Diabetes is a burden at times. There are some days when you cannot do all that you had planned. Sometimes thing become too much and we must take a step back to rest and revaluate. But the next day we will be be ready to fight again and over come all the obstacles that are placed before us. It takes extra time, patience, planning, and supplies, but it can be done and I will make it happen. 

    Having T1D has shown me that I possess an inner strength that I did not realize I had. I can overcome a high BG without having it ruin my day and give myself injections without wincing. Living with T1D has given me a voice to make a difference in this world and help educate people about a disease that has many misconceptions. I can help others see that people with T1d are tough and there is no stopping us. 

   Four years into my journey with Type 1 Diabetes, I am finally realizing just how blessed I am to have such an amazing group of family and friends by my side through all the highs and lows. Those special people who take time to really learn about what I go through every day and then take the extra step to educate others as well so the string of T1D misconceptions does not continue. T1D does not only affect the person living with the disease, but also those who care about them. Together we can find the bright spots in this disease and embrace all the incredible moments we are given. 

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" - Philippians 4:13 

                                                                                 

Broken but Free

         "Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't." - Steve Maraboli

        As a chronic worrier, I think about every possible situation in my head. With Type 1 Diabetes on board, the amount of possible scenarios are endless. Will I be high? Will I be low? Will I be stable overnight? How will my BG react in unusual situations? These questions are seemingly always rolling through my head. I want to control something that cannot be tamed. It's like trying to keep a wild lion contained in a zoo, when you offer it food it will behave but before long it will be trying to escape. You can make it happy in the short term, but not forever. I am very proactive in keeping up with my diabetes, and always have plans of actions to deal with any BG obstacles that come my way. But sometimes the wild lion will rear its ugly head.

      I went to bed on Christmas eve eve excited for the coming days of Christmas magic. At 10:30pm that evening, my BG was a stable 158 with no active insulin. I fell asleep thinking of all the little jobs that needed to be completed the next morning. After that my memories seize for a while. My family was up and about quite early that morning prepping food for the day's events. I never like to miss a beat and am a major morning person. When my mom realized I had not come out to join them by 8:35 am, she came into my room to say hello and was greeted with moans coming from the top bunk of my loft bed. After several minutes the situation remained unchanged so she proceeded to check my BG but I would not hold still tossing and turning in all directions. These behaviors screamed low BG so she moved on to getting sugar into my body, but my mouth was clenched shut. In the emotion of the moment the idea of giving a glucagon shot was forgotten and 911 was called. 

       In a flash, the paramedics arrived. Their first goal was to move me from my loft bed to my parents room so they could have space to work. Once my unconscious body was comfortably on my parents bed, they held down my squirmy body long enough to get a BG reading of 33 at 8:59 am. Next their attention turned to getting my BG back up. Rubbing glucose gel on my gums was immediately ruled out because of my clenched jaw so a sugar IV was the next best option. It took several tries to obtain an IV in my minuscule veins but after more than 5 painfully long minutes they found success and I slowly began to come back to life. I remember slowly opening and closing my eyes to a vast crowd of people and serious conversation. I did not understand where I was and why I was there. Once my eyes began to focus, I was told I had a low BG but at first it didn't register. I was in a world of drowsiness from the IV meds. My first request was to go visit my best friend. At that moment, my mom knew I would be ok. By 9:20am, my BG was up to 208. The rest of Christmas eve was a bit out of the ordinary. I spent the day on the couch watching Christmas movies with an upset stomach from the IV sugar concoction while loading up on carbs to keep the BG up. My wonderful endocrinology team was just a phone call away to lend a hand and the evening ended around the Christmas tree surrounded by my wonderful family with a very thankful heart. 

         With this scare, I have taken time to reevaluate. This major BG drop could have been caused by the vast temperature changes that were occurring at the time and holiday stress. But with Diabetes there does not have to be a reason. Looking back there is no extra precautions that could have been taken. Sometimes it's just the perfect storm and things happen. I check my BG an adequate number of times per day, eat carb balanced meals, have an acceptable A1C, and am aware of how my body feels. There is no way to guarantee these events will not happen and a person cannot control all situations so I have committed myself to focus on what I can control.
          In the past one of my biggest fears was not waking up in the morning, a common fear for many diabetics. I have now had that kind of experience. I know that God will always be there to protect me and he was watching over me that morning. Worrying about the future will not help me in the present. Positive thoughts are the best medicine. Each day is a gift that should not be wasted on worry. My pancreas may be broken but my life is not. I am free. Living each moment and finding joy in every day. 

When I was free

   

          4 YEARS

          In some ways it feels just like yesterday, but other times I can hardly remember what life was like. Back when I was free. Free of a time schedule, free from carb counting, free from needles, free from worry. I looked so pure on the exterior, no callused fingers or bruises from shots. No infusion set or insulin pump to conceal. No thinking about how long I was going without eating. Life was so simple. 

        But these senior portraits, taken on October 3rd, 2010, tell another story too. In these pictures you see a frail broken body, unable to sustain any weight. The glassy look in my eyes just screams high BG. I remember being so thirsty that day, I remember it distinctly. When we were finally finished with the 4 hour photo shoot, I was almost crying with hunger and thirst. It was the beginning of the downward spiral. 3 months before diagnosis. 

       I was fading fast, looking back I see it. Insulin truly saved my life. It brought Morgan back. The twinkle in the eye returned. I came back better than ever. Stronger and more confident. I may not be free, but I am alive, living each day to the fullest. 

Decorating Diabetes: A Pump Peelz Review

          I was so excited when I came into contact with Emily and Scott, founders of Pump Peelz. Pump Peelz are stickers made for insulin pumps, meters, and CGMs. They were created to decorate diabetes and make it fun and exciting for children and adults with Type 1 Diabetes. I was so excited to be given the opportunity to review one of their new products, Glow in the Dark peelz created just in time for halloween.

The Package 

       When the package arrived, I happily opened it with pride knowing that a fellow T1D had created this to bring joy to others living with the disease. I like how intricate the spider web design is on the peel, it almost seems real. I know many kids who would die to have a cool sticker like this. When I went to place the peel on my Dexcom receiver, I was impressed with how thick and durable it was. It was easy to unpeel and re-stick the peel several times in order to place it in the desired position. I can tell these peelz can be easily reusable as long as you protect them, which I love because I will be able to switch out different peelz depending on the season.

Dex modeling the new peel! 

      My favorite aspect of this particular peel is the Glow in the Dark feature. I know this was created to make it fun for Children and get them in the halloween spirit, but it is also very practical for young adults and adults. I sleep with my Dexcom in bed with me in order to hear the vibration at night. I am notorious for loosing it somewhere in my bed, but the past few nights I have been able to easily spot it because it is now Glow in the Dark. 

     I highly recommend Pump Peelz for anyone and everyone with T1D. The variety is so vast that I know you will find something that appeals to you and puts a smile on your face. I will definitely be purchasing more of these for my collection. Pump Peelz are currently available for the Dexcom G4 receiver, the Ominipod (generation 2),   the Omnipod PDM,  the Medtronic Minimed pump, and the OneTouch VerioIQ meter. You can find your favorite peelz here. Happy Pumping and CGMing!

Gluten Free is not a choice

         I have been following a gluten free diet for almost a year now after suggestion from my endocrinologist. I passed the Celiac blood test, but I was having symptoms which is quite common in people with T1D. Since making the switch, a fog has lifted in my body and my BG numbers have become more stable and consistent. I also finally like bread. It's been a change for the better and I would not go back. Many people think that gluten free diets are a fad, and people do it to loose weight or be hip. But for some people it is their life. I have several friends who suffer from Celiac disease and following a gluten free diet is not a choice for them. Their small intestines cannot physically handle the gluten.  They must be strict and follow the diet exactly or they can become very sick.
       The problem is that gluten free food is ridiculously expensive and the selection is quite small, although that is slowly changing. Necessities like a loaf of bread are $6.25, sometimes more depending on the store. A box of crackers is about $5.00 and a pack of 4 muffins is $7.00. That is just not fair. They need to eat too. And sometimes it is hard to afford these food staples that they need for everyday life. They did not choose the gluten free life, the gluten free life choose them and I think insurance should help. The gluten free diet is like a medication for  so  it is only fair that they be provided with a certain amount of money per month to purchase those necessities such as bread and pasta. It does not need to be a large amount of money, $100-$150 per month would help. Anything would help. It would make the disease feel like less of a burden. Going to the grocery store would be less traumatic, as seeing the price rise at checkout is quite frightening. If anyone reading this is involved in the medical profession, please speak up and help those who follow a gluten free diet because of legitimate medical reasons. We need your help to make a change!
   

JDRF Walk 2014: Type One becomes Type None

I'm the walk to change my future type. 

      Twas the night before the one walk, and I was not sleeping. I was fighting. I was struggling, startled by a BG of 40 at 3:00am. I awoke shaky as ever and stumbled into the kitchen for some juice. This situation repeated itself again at 6:00am. When it was time to get up for the walk, I was not excited. I was tired, annoyed, and still on the low side. But then I realized that was the very reason I was walking. To stop this endless cycle of discomfort for myself and all those suffering from Type 1 Diabetes. I decided to be the walk to change my future type.
      I got to the walk and my spirit was immediately lifted. Just the atmosphere  is something I cannot even describe. The feeling of togetherness and the understanding that everyone around you gets it. They know what you are going through because they go through it themselves. The emotion is strong. You are sad that you have to be there, but happy to have that sense of community. This year, I invited some close friends in addition to family to walk with me. I did not know how they react, but it was a success. They were wonderful and I loved having them there. I know that I have an amazing support system, but having some of them there physically was so special. Thank you all for walking with me.

<3 

The magical pod 

       After the walk had ended, I had the opportunity to talk with representatives from many of the most popular diabetic supply companies. As always, I enjoyed stocking up on glucose tablets, but also got some wonderful information about the technology available. I had a great talk with a rep. from Insulet regarding the Omnipod tubeless insulin pump. He even put a demo pod on me. I am now convinced Omnipod is in my near future. I thought it would feel bulky, but it was so comfortable. I adore the idea of being able to bolus with a remote because it will come in handy while figure skating. The waterproof feature is also helping to win me over because I love water parks and this will allow me to continue to receive insulin while swimming. I am very excited to begin the project of cutting the cord and getting the Omnipod up and running.
      The walk always leaves me feeling happy and enthusiastic about the future. I am excited to see what technological advancements will be made this year. The JDRF is one step closer to creating a world without Type 1 Diabetes.

A 24-hour walk with D

       

             I recently joined the Walk with Diabetes campaign to give people a chance to virtually walk in the shoes of a person with Diabetes. I decided to document 24 hours of all my thoughts related to D. Unsurprisingly the day I selected was a rough one, but I think it was a good representation of the unpredictability of this disease. Here is a glimpse into my day...

           By this point, I was finished with D for the night. It had managed to dampen my spirit and left me feeling defeated for the day. Then I got this tweet... 

           I instantly felt ok again. I was reminded that having a rough day is normal, as sucky as it may be. Rough days are usually few and far between, but they hit you like a ton of bricks. There is nothing you can do about it but take a deep breath and move on. Tomorrow will always be better, tomorrow is another battle. A battle we can win together. Diabuddies unite for life.