D-Blog Week- When D brings me down....

Diabetes Blog Week day 3 prompt: May is Mental Health Month so now seems like a great time to explore the emotional side of living with, or caring for someone with, diabetes. What things can make dealing with diabetes an emotional issue for you and / or your loved one, and how do you cope?

            Managing Diabetes would not be that bad if you did not have to do it every single day. The day in and day out monotony of the disease is what really wears on me. The sleepless nights and constant worry of the unknown and unexpected never goes away completely. Since my diagnosis I have developed black circles under my eyes that never want to go away. It is a visible reminder of the carefreeness I lost on that diagnosis day. I will never be able to get that back.

            Another aspect of my life that was altered when D came into the picture was my thoughts on food. I used to snack all the time because I never liked eating large meals. When my diagnosis came, I had to begin eating full carb meals. Food became medicine when I am low and the enemy when I am high. I often think that food and I are never going to be friends. When I am hungry, I am usually high and cannot have as much as I would have liked. But when I am low, I practically have to stuff food down my throat to stay conscious. I will admit that sometimes I am afraid of food. This makes me emotional quite often because I wish I could just enjoy my food like the general population and not have to read labels or  choose avoid foods that cause me to go out of range.

            When I am having a rough day, I rely on my closest friends to help get me through. One of my BFF’s happens to also be a T1D, so I often text her just to get things off my chest and joke about things that only T1D’s would understand. Something I have also found to be helpful is picking one day a week to relax and eat what I want when I want. I do not go crazy by any means but just go out and have a treat for pleasure with a friend or two. Lately that has been a milkshake or smoothie, something I used to shy away from because I was afraid of going too high, but now I just roll with the punches, correct the BG, and enjoy life. Diabetes cannot bring me down for long because I am a fighter and I deserve to lead a happy, “normal” life. 

Indulging is good for the soul, as are strawberries with whip cream